When we think of PTSD, we think of a soldier struggling to cope with life after being in combat. When we think of choices, we often think of whether or not we'll go the movie on Friday, or where we should go on vacation. And when we think of our biggest fear, we usually think of an action or an object/animal. But if you're a victim of rape, none of these things come to mind. When you're raped/sexually assaulted, PTSD no longer is something you hear of soldiers having--its becomes a part of you and your daily struggle. You no longer are in control of your body or your voice, because someone physically, mentally and emotionally stole that right away from you. As a victim of sexual assault/rape, all of your fears jumble into one--THEM.
Sexual/assault can happen to anyone, and despite some theories that say victims are "asking for it", these could not be more false. That cheerleader, that girl with no friends, that boy with the blue Nike's--rape/sexual assault can happen to anyone; yet some have viewpoints that rape only happens to a select group of people. Another common misconception is that rapists are weird guys with 70's glasses and a white windowless van, yet 80% of rapists/sexual predators have a positive/healthy relationship with their victim prior to the assault, Though the majority of predators are male, many happen to be female as well. "Rape isn't rape if the person likes it", yet this too is completely false. Emotions/physical feelings mean very little when classifying rape, it's a matter of whether or not the event was consensual. The most unfortunate viewpoint of all happens to be one that is true--most rapists and predators are not aware of any wrongdoing.
Though I can see other sides to the story, rape/sexual assault will never be something that I will change my opinion on. 5% of victims will ever press charges or file a report, yet 100% will have to suffer from the permanent affects. Your life is completely turned upside down after sexual assault/rape, and at times, you feel like you have no one to blame but yourself. One of the saddest truths of all is that survivors tend to blame themselves more than they do their attacker. Rape/sexual assault is one of the worst things that could happen to a person.
1 in 5 people are forced to become survivors.
Rape. Screws. Everybody.
Toby, I could be wrong, but I thought I remembered you sharing a story last year about one of your friends who had been raped and decided not to press charges. I am asking because this blog seems very personal and I can tell that you feel very strongly about this topic. The title of your blog is rape screws everybody but you then go on to say that the rapists and predators don't think they have done anything wrong, so in what way are the screwed? I just want to know your opinion on the topic, because to me it seems that someone willing to do something so horrible to an innocent person would have to be mentally unstable, and therefore would have been "screwed" from birth, but by a force that was completely out of their control. I agree with you that rape is a terrible, terrible thing, I just would like to know what your definitions of "screwed" and "everybody" are. If my memory is correct and your friend was a victim of sexual assault then I truly hope that she is doing well, and I am extremely thankful that she has a friend like you to help her through such a horrible experience.
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