When we think of PTSD, we think of a soldier struggling to cope with life after being in combat. When we think of choices, we often think of whether or not we'll go the movie on Friday, or where we should go on vacation. And when we think of our biggest fear, we usually think of an action or an object/animal. But if you're a victim of rape, none of these things come to mind. When you're raped/sexually assaulted, PTSD no longer is something you hear of soldiers having--its becomes a part of you and your daily struggle. You no longer are in control of your body or your voice, because someone physically, mentally and emotionally stole that right away from you. As a victim of sexual assault/rape, all of your fears jumble into one--THEM.
Sexual/assault can happen to anyone, and despite some theories that say victims are "asking for it", these could not be more false. That cheerleader, that girl with no friends, that boy with the blue Nike's--rape/sexual assault can happen to anyone; yet some have viewpoints that rape only happens to a select group of people. Another common misconception is that rapists are weird guys with 70's glasses and a white windowless van, yet 80% of rapists/sexual predators have a positive/healthy relationship with their victim prior to the assault, Though the majority of predators are male, many happen to be female as well. "Rape isn't rape if the person likes it", yet this too is completely false. Emotions/physical feelings mean very little when classifying rape, it's a matter of whether or not the event was consensual. The most unfortunate viewpoint of all happens to be one that is true--most rapists and predators are not aware of any wrongdoing.
Though I can see other sides to the story, rape/sexual assault will never be something that I will change my opinion on. 5% of victims will ever press charges or file a report, yet 100% will have to suffer from the permanent affects. Your life is completely turned upside down after sexual assault/rape, and at times, you feel like you have no one to blame but yourself. One of the saddest truths of all is that survivors tend to blame themselves more than they do their attacker. Rape/sexual assault is one of the worst things that could happen to a person.
1 in 5 people are forced to become survivors.
Rape. Screws. Everybody.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Change of Mind: Orlando
As I dug my way through my backpack one morning, my meaning of Orlando came to me. I was pulling out the final draft of my Orlando paper when seemingly all the thoughts I had previously had finally started fitting together. Orlando wasn't just about a person changing in nearly every single way, it was about a person growing up and no longer accepting that which they were given; it was about a brave soul who rejected the path set before them, and learned to walk on their own ground.
Over the past few weeks, I've been noticing things in society that I simply cannot force myself to agree with, and refuse to force to myself to accept. It's because of that one defining moment as I turned in my paper that I realized that conforming to society is not a requirement to survive. People were created with differences for a reason, and by attempting to be like everyone else, you lose the person that you spent so long trying to find.
While my peers and my society will have an impact on me, no doubt, I'm now able to see that I can go in the same direction without following in anyone's footsteps, or walking on a pre-made path. I'm not like everyone else, though for a while I tried be. Orlando was happy, no matter who, what or where Orlando was, Orlando was happy.
Things may not always make sense, and I may not always agree with things, but now I know that that's okay. I can now be honest when I say that the path I'm walking is also the path I'm choosing. I'll take a few more wrong steps along the way, trip over myself a few times and get a few bruises here and there. Leaving the drama and lies behind, I'm finally walking on my own two feet. I'm Toby, and for right now, that's okay.
Over the past few weeks, I've been noticing things in society that I simply cannot force myself to agree with, and refuse to force to myself to accept. It's because of that one defining moment as I turned in my paper that I realized that conforming to society is not a requirement to survive. People were created with differences for a reason, and by attempting to be like everyone else, you lose the person that you spent so long trying to find.
While my peers and my society will have an impact on me, no doubt, I'm now able to see that I can go in the same direction without following in anyone's footsteps, or walking on a pre-made path. I'm not like everyone else, though for a while I tried be. Orlando was happy, no matter who, what or where Orlando was, Orlando was happy.
Things may not always make sense, and I may not always agree with things, but now I know that that's okay. I can now be honest when I say that the path I'm walking is also the path I'm choosing. I'll take a few more wrong steps along the way, trip over myself a few times and get a few bruises here and there. Leaving the drama and lies behind, I'm finally walking on my own two feet. I'm Toby, and for right now, that's okay.
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